


How the King Dedede stole Christmas

by CocoaSnapple



Category: Kirby (Video Games), Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Bedtime Stories, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Gijinka(Humanized characters) at the end, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 18:30:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9001789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocoaSnapple/pseuds/CocoaSnapple
Summary: Every Cappy.Down in Cappy-town.Liked Christmas a lot…But the King Dedede.Who lived just East of Cappy-town.Did not!





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea to do this from a friend, though it was very easy and i didnt have much creative input into it, thus a small cute bit i added to the end.
> 
> I want to do a Christmas Carol parody with Dedede soon as well which I'll be able to have more fun with than just changing some words around...

Every Cappy.  
Down in Cappy-town.  
Liked Christmas a lot…

But the King Dedede.  
Who lived just East of Cappy-town.  
Did not!

The King hated Christmas!  
The whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don’t ask why.  
No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head   
wasn’t screwed on just right.  
It could be, perhaps,  
that his robes were too tight.  
But I think that the,   
most likely reason of all,  
may have been his heart,   
was two sizes too small.

But,  
Whatever the reason,  
His heart or his robes,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve,  
Hating the Cappies.

Staring down from his castle  
With a sour, Kingy frown  
At the warm lighted windows  
Below in their town.

For he knew every Cappy  
Down in Cappy-town beneath.  
Was bust now, hanging  
A mistletoe wreath.

“And they’re hanging  
their stockings!”  
he snarled with a sneer.  
“Tomorrow is Christmas!  
Its practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Kingly  
Fingers nervously drumming,  
“I MUST find some way to stop   
Christmas from coming!”

For,  
Tomorrow, he knew…

…All the Cappy girls and boys  
Would wake bright and early.  
They’d rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise!  
Oh, the Noise! Noise!  
Noise! Noise!

That’s one thing he hated!   
The NOISE! NOISE!  
NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Cappies,  
Young and old,   
Would sit down to a feast.   
And they’d feast!  
And they’d feast!

And they’d FEAST!  
FEAST!  
FEAST!  
FEAST!

They would feast on Cappy-pudding,  
And rare Cappy-roast-beast  
Which was something the King  
Couldn’t stand the least!

And THEN  
They’d do something  
He liked least of all!

Every Cappy down in Cappy-town,  
The tall and the small,  
Would stand close together,  
With Christmas bells ringing.  
They’d stand hand in hand.  
And the Cappies would start singing!

They’d sing! And they’d sing!  
AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the King thought  
Of this Cappy-Christmas-Sing,  
The more the King thought,  
“I must stop this whole thing!  
Why, for twenty-four years  
I’ve put up with it now!  
I MUST stop this  
Christmas from coming…but HOW?” 

Then he got and idea!  
An awful idea!  
THE KING  
GOT A WONDERFUL,  
AWFUL IDEA!

“I know jus what to do!”  
The King laughed in his throat.  
And he made a quick Santy Claus   
Hat and coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked,  
“What a great Kingly trick!  
With this coat and this hat,  
I look just like Saint Nick!”

“All I need is a reindeer…”  
The King looked around.  
But, since reindeer are scarce,  
There was none to be found.  
Did that stop the old King…?  
No! The King simply said,  
“If I can’t find a reindeer,  
I’ll make one instead!”

So called a Waddle Dee.  
Then took some red thread,  
And he tied a big horn  
On top of its head.

THEN  
He loaded some bags  
And some old empty sacks  
On a ramshackle sleigh  
And he hitched up the Waddle Dee.

Then the King said, “Giddap!”  
And the sleigh started down  
Towards the homes where the Cappies  
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark.  
Quiet snow filled the air.  
All the Cappies were all dreaming  
Sweet dreams without care  
When he came to the first   
Little house on the square.

“This is stop number one,”  
The old Kingly Claus hissed  
And he climbed to the roof,  
Empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney.  
A rather tight pinch.  
But, if Santa could do it,  
Then so could the King.

He got stuck only once,  
For a moment or two.  
Then he stuck his head out  
Of the fireplace flue.

Where the little Cappies stockings  
All hung in a row.  
“These stockings,” he grinned,  
“are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk,  
With a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room,   
And he took every present!  
Pop guns! And bicycles!   
Roller skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards!  
Tricycles! Popcorn!  
And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags.  
Then the King, very nimbly,  
Stuffed all the bags,  
One by one, up  
The chimbely.

Then he slunk to the icebox.  
He took the Cappies’ feast!  
He took the Cappy-pudding!  
He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that ice box  
As quick as a flash.  
Why that King even took  
Their last can of Cappy-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food   
up the chimney with glee.  
“And NOW!” grinned the King,  
“I will stuff up the tree!”

And the King grabbed the tree, and he started to shove  
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small star child!  
Little Kirby, who was no more than two.  
The King had been caught by this tiny star son  
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.

He stared at the King  
And said “Santy Claus, why,  
Why are you taking my   
Christmas tree? WHY?”

But you know, that old King  
Was so smart and so slick  
He thought up a lie,  
And he thought it up quick!

“Why, my sweet little star,”  
the fake Santy Claus lied,  
“There’s a light on this tree  
that won’t light on one side.  
So I’m taking it home  
To my workshop, my dear.  
I’ll fix it up there.  
Then I’ll bring it back here.”

And his fib fooled the child.  
Then he patted his head  
And he got him a drink  
And he sent him off to bed.

And when Kirby  
Went to bed with his cup,  
HE went to the chimney  
And stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took  
Was the log for their fire!

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food  
That he left in the house  
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then  
He did the same thing  
To the other Capppies’ houses 

Leaving crumbs  
Much too small  
For other Cappies’ mouses! 

It was quarter past dawn…  
All the Cappies, still a-bed,  
All the Cappies, still a-snooze  
When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents!  
The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel!  
The trimmings!  
The trappings!

Three thousand feet up!  
Up the side of Mt. Dedede,  
He rode with his load  
To the tiptop to dump it!  
”Pooh-Pooh to the Cappies!”  
He was king-ish-ly humming.  
“They’re finding out now  
that no Christmas is coming!”

“They’re just waking up!  
I know just what they’ll do!  
Their mouths will hang open  
A minute or two  
Then the Cappies  
Down in Cappy-town  
Will all cry BOO-HOO!”

That’s a noise,” grinned the King,  
“That I simply MUST hear!”  
So he paused. And the King   
put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound  
Rising over the snow.  
It started in low.  
Then it started to grow…

But the sound wasn’t sad!  
Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn’t be so!  
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Cappy-town!  
The King popped his eyes!  
Then he shook!  
What he saw was  
A shocking surprise!

Every Cappy down in Cappy-town, the tall and the small.  
Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!  
IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the King, with his king-feet  
Ice-cold in the snow,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling:  
“How could it be so?  
It came without ribbons!  
It came without tags!  
It came without packages  
Boxes or bags!”

And he puzzled for three hours,  
Till his puzzler was sore.  
Then the King thought   
Of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought,  
“doesn’t come from a store.  
Maybe Christmas…perhaps…  
Means a little bit more!”

And what happened then…?  
Well…in Cappy-town they say  
That the King’s small heart  
Grew three sizes that day!

And the minute his heart  
Didn’t feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his load  
Through the bright morning light

And he brought back the toys!  
And the food for the feast!  
And he…

…HE HIMSELF…!  
The King carved the roast beast!

Dedede finally managed to put the book down “So, was that a good enough story for ya yet?” he ruffled up the hair of the small child in his arms, slowly dozing off “Mmn…Nu-uh…” Kirby rubbed his eyes sleepily “If you don’t go to bed soon the King will steal alllll your presents~” Dedede chuckled “Then I’ll stop you…” Kirby clinged himself to his arm. “…Night-night…” Dedede stroked his hair, holding him close wrapped in his gown, in the light of a fireplace and glowing of tree lights.

**Author's Note:**

> I think i fucked up the Kirby part, it doesn't rhyme very well. i spent one night just reading the book on YouTube for about half an hour or so, no wonder it probably sucks.


End file.
